Parent Pathway: Helping Parents Get Answers

 

This is an interview with Kim Box of Parent Pathway.

Parent Pathway has recently released their documentary, Collision Course.

It was announced that Collision Course has been nominated for an Emmy Award!

The final selection will be on June 9th in San Francisco at the Northern California Emmys. If you haven’t already seen it, be sure to watch Collision Course and share it with your family.

1. Please introduce yourself for readers that don’t know you.

I am the Co-founder and President of Parent Pathway, LLC.  I am passionate about awareness and prevention of teen substance abuse and addiction.  I am also passionate about helping parents who have a child or any loved one who is struggling with substance abuse.  It affects so many young people who begin with recreational ‘partying’ with their friends and end up with the disease of addiction.  This is one disease that is completely preventable; young people and their parents need to know the consequence of substance abuse.

2. Tell us about Parent Pathway and why did you start the website?

Parent Pathway has been created for parents by parents to find a place to get answers, a sense of community, and hope for their loved ones and themselves.  We realized the need for this service by seeing what was happening in our communities and families and we also realized that it was difficult to get information to help parents in their time of need.  When you realize that your child has gone past the point of experimental substance use and into a serious problem with drugs and alcohol it is difficult to know what to do.  It is not a situation that many parents feel compelled to share with their friends and family, it can be very lonely and filled with fear.  My partners and I decided that we would create a website to help parents navigate through this difficult situation with their loved one.  Our goal is that they find the website and instantly realize that they are not alone and others are here to help.

3. What is Meetings in a Box? Who would benefit from these meetings?

Meetings in a Box are a guide to have a meeting with a group of parents or to do as an individual to help support them through their journey of a loved one struggling with addiction.  Each Meeting in a Box is a topic with a description, relevant quotes, music, books and then an exercise to explore the topic and learn how to work through it.  An example of some of the topics are; Denial, Hope, Fear, Boundaries, Gratitude, Trust, and many more.  These are topics are typical for overcoming co-dependent and enabling behaviors as well as taking care of ourselves.  Meetings in a Box is a very innovative service to help parents cope and move forward in their journey.

4. What are some of the common drugs that seem to be abused in the Sacramento area? 

I believe the Sacramento area is very similar to many other areas.  We have seen an extreme surge in prescription drug abuse.  Pain killers like Oxycontin, Vicodin, Norco and many others are very expensive on the street which leads those addicted to these opiate based drugs to use heroin because it is much less expensive and the same high.  Alcohol continues to be a huge issue.  We are seeing young people binge drinking in middle school, high school and college leading to death in some cases.  Even with awareness around drinking and driving, there are still high numbers of young people abusing alcohol and suffering the consequences which can ultimately lead to alcoholism.

5. You also speak to parent groups in your area. What is your message for parents and how can they help prevent their children from becoming addicted to drugs?

Our message is simply that abusing drugs and alcohol at a young age can have immediate and long term consequences.  The adolescent brain continues to develop until the age of 25.  By using substances, you are altering the chemistry of the brain and have a very high probability of developing the disease of addiction of which there is no cure.  Ninety percent of all adults who have the disease of addiction began abusing substances before the age of 18.  After the age of 18 the probability of the disease of addiction is one in 25.  Parents need to understand this and help their child stay safe and away from abusing substances.  We encourage parents to get educated on how substance abuse affects their child and encourage them to talk early and often to their children so they can make good choices.  We encourage parents to keep prescription drugs locked up to prevent easy access.

6. Where do you go from here? What are your dreams for the future?

Our goal is to get as much visibility to Parent Pathway so that parents can get the help and support they need.  It is such a difficult situation to discover your child has a serious problem with drugs and alcohol.  We want parents to easily find our site and know there are others that have traveled this path and will be there to support them.  My ultimate dream is that there is enough awareness and education to parents and young teens that we turn this growing epidemic of addiction around and see it rapidly decline.  And that would result in not having a need for Parent Pathway.  But until then, we will be there help parents navigate through their journey.

Are you a parent who is concerned about your teen? What can we do to prevent teen substance abuse? If you have any questions or if there is something I can help you with, please feel free to contact me through the contact form. I would love to hear from you.

take care,

Is Our Society Driving Women to Drug Abuse?

Let's protect our young girls from birth.

As I read about International Womens’ Day last week, I became curious about what drives young female teens and women to addiction.

Recently I watched Miss Representation, a documentary by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, spouse of the former SF Mayor. The idea behind the film is that we are all influenced by the media message that is sent out concerning the value of girls and women in our society starting at birth.

The film brings together some of America’s most influential women in politics, news and entertainment to give the audience an inside look at the media’s message and depiction of women.

Exposed is how American youth are being sold the idea that women and girls’ value lies in their youth, beauty and sexuality.

“Every woman has her own story of overcoming oppression and misrepresentation; yet throughout history the media has suppressed, twisted, and often ignored the words of women.”

So what does this film and the media’s portrayal of women for their youth, beauty, and sexuality have to do with addiction?

Alcohol, drug, food, sex and media addictions have all increased in the past decades since media has begun to take over our lives. Young women more than ever, feel the affect of this media output. Their feelings are expressed through depression, feelings of shame, promiscuity as well as food disorders such as bulimia, substance abuse that can lead to addiction and more.

“To start, in one week American teenagers spend 31 hours watching TV, 17 hours listening to music, 3 hours watching movies, 4 hours reading magazines, 10 hours online. That’s 10 hours and 45 minutes of media consumption a day.” 

Media addiction is one place to begin where teens are given the same message about women over and over again. Teen girls feel the pain of the media stereotype that they are valued for how they look. Often their ideas and brain power are ignored. They may turn to alcohol and drugs as well as other negative habits to ease their pain.

Watch this short clip from Miss Representation.

Women and Drug Abuse

Women are the fastest-growing segment of substance abusers in the United States. In 2010, there were about 2.7 million American women that abused alcohol or drugs.

Physical, emotional and sexual abuse play a strong role in the addiction of women.

Indeed, when researchers compared cocaine using men and women, they found much greater neural activation in the drug-seeking brain regions of women during social stress (things like exclusion, being put down, and such) than were found for men or for women who didn’t use drugs. ~Dr. Adi Jaffe

For more than 100 years, women and girls have been encouraged to self medicate. According to NIDA, doctors currently prescribe twice as many psychotropic medications for women as for men, and many are refilled for decades.

Many girls report that they were introduced to alcohol and drug use by their boyfriends, with drinking as part of their first sexual experience.

Women feel the effects of alcohol sooner than males and from lesser amounts, and some may go on to become addicted.

Cindy McAlpin from the Hanley Center writes:

“Women with midlevel and higher management positions have said they felt the need to hold their own on many fronts, including macho drinking behaviors when out with colleagues. Although this issue is seldom discussed, it seems part of a women’s struggle to be seen as equals and be admitted to the higher levels of power.”

Do you find it amazing that women of power feel the need to equal men in their drinking in order to maintain their status as a leader?

Stephanie Covington, author of A Women’s Way Through the Twelve Steps, says that women are less empowered in society in general because traditional views of women cast them as more feminine, attractive, and lovable if they do not have—or behave as if they do not have—power.

Because of this traditional disempowerment, women have found their own devices, one example being manipulation. Women flatter, flirt, please and play helpless to get what they want.

With addiction, a women has lost all power over her disease and lacks a sense of herself. But addiction has a benefit – it is a way of coping, of masking a woman’s feelings about herself and her emotional pain.

The denial is often supported by family, work, doctors who may not ask the right questions, or the parents of a female teen that are in denial about how much their daughter drinks or uses drugs.

Women who multi-task a career as well as manage their homes, have an extremely difficult time admitting that she has lost control of her life. A women may try to micro manage everything to keep her sense of control and handle her anxiety, but in reality she has little control over what is happening around her.

 Like most addicts I always thought I was in control and never intended or imagined that it would be the alcohol in control of me. ~ Carolyn Hughes

Recovery

Many women give up their own needs so that they can take care of others. They may have even change their personality to accommodate someone else. Recovery for women means that they need to acknowledge or surrender to the power of addiction and find their own sense of self and personal power.

It may feel frightening for a women to look at her own feelings, thoughts, wants and needs.

Women’s friendships are extremely important and women live a longer life, and have better health because of their strong connections with their friends. In recovery, women need other women as they begin to reconnect with themselves and with others.

Most women find that their need to recover is a slow process. The process hinged on finding their real selves. They find their old identity from before they got addicted and are relieved that they can stop hiding their destructive habit.

Judith Grant, Ohio University Sociologist did a study of 300 female addicts, many of whom were over 35 and held a college degree. Half of the women recovered using Alcoholic Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous, and the other half succeeded on their own.

The women replaced the addiction with their passions, such as exercise, expressing their creativity, work, or school. Some mentor other women who are recovering from addiction.

What can you do for yourself or your daughter to make sure they have  all possibilities available to them, and are not sidetracked by drug use or even feelings that they are not worthy of reaching their goals?

  1. Empower yourself and your family to challenge limiting media labels so that women and girls can realize their full potential.
  2. Tell your story and stand up to sexism, hyper-masculinity and champion women as leaders. Encourage your teen to set and work towards her goals without limitations.
  3. Spread awareness and education about the effects of alcohol and drug addiction on women.
  4. Find time during the day, week or month to have your family put away their media tools such as computers, cell phones, pads, and TV’s and enjoy each others company and discover what we are truly about rather than what the media wants us to believe.
  5. Find a showing of Miss Representation and take your family, including your sons with you.

Let’s reach out to our girls and young women and help be the change that let’s their voices be heard so that they can feel whole, connect with themselves and appreciate their abilities. We are losing a whole segment of our population to misguided beliefs and stigmas promoted by our media.

take care,