We send our children off to college with anticipation, excitement and the best of intentions. Parents assume as our kids leave the nest that they are prepared for all aspects of college life.
We are shocked, mortified and saddened to discover that our college student is off the deep end and addicted to drugs or alcohol. After all the careful college planning, the rug feels like it has been pulled out from under us.
Many times kids do take their substance abuse to the next level when they leave home and go off to college. They suddenly have the freedom to make their own choices without their parents monitoring their every move.
When teens are dabbling in drugs and alcohol in high school, their experimentation can turn into an addiction. They are among a large number of students and drugs and alcohol are easily accessible. Their use can escalate very quickly.
It may never have occurred to these students, much less their parents, that their habit was this out of control, but young people are the most vulnerable to addiction. Their brains are not fully developed in the areas of judgement control, emotion and impulse until about age 25.
It starts with your child admitting their drug or alcohol use, and making the decision to get treatment and find recovery. There are many options for continuing their college education, so do not give up hope.
Your child’s transcript may be dismal at best. It may feel like your hard earned dollars for your child’s college education has just gone down the drain. Although this is a major setback, there are programs out there to get your college student back on track, and inspire them to accomplish their goals.
One option is for your child to go back to college and live in a sober dorm. It is important to carefully consider with the help of a professional whether the student should go back to the same college or transfer to a new campus. Many times those triggers, such as old drinking and drugging buddies, will be waiting for them at their original campus. Moving to a new school, allows the student to have a fresh start in a new environment.
According to NY Times article, “A Bridge to Recovery on Campus,” Rutgers was mentioned as one campus that is providing recovery dorms tucked away on campus. Their program started in 1988 and it was the first of its kind. Lisa Laitman, Director of its Alcohol and Other Drug Assistance Program helped create the program after she saw that students were struggling to abstain, and that newly recovered students were put under pressure with dorm related parties.
Rutgers appears to be the first, but the numbers are growing with over 20 programs and more to come. Texas Tech University has used $900,000 in federal grants to help campuses build programs.
At Rutgers, the students attend an NA or AA meeting at least twice a week, a group meeting with an addiction therapist during their first year of recovery and a monthly house meeting.
They have fun as well by studying together, making runs to Starbucks and competing in intramural soccer and softball leagues. Having fun in recovery helps to ensure their long term sobriety, and sets the stage for lasting change in their life.
At University of Michigan, students can choose a recovery room from the residential drop down menu to live with a roommate who has a similar interest. A recovery room is not just substance free, it is for students who are actively pursuing staying sober.
More colleges have since joined the Association of Recovery Schools giving students the opportunity to continue their education, and become the person they were meant to be.
For more information about the Association of Recovery Schools click here. You will find links to other colleges, that support a student’s recovery.
Another option, is from Sober Living by the Sea, a treatment center and sober living home in Newport Beach, CA, which combines residential treatment with classes. The T.E.A.C.H. Program is available for students wishing to continue their college education. They have counselors in place to help students with their transcripts, finding programs, enrollment and more.
Saddleback and Orange Coast College, which are both two year junior colleges are located near Sober Living by the Sea. These types of programs help students, who have lost their self confidence and still feel the shame of their addiction, find their way back so that they are able to pursue their education.
My daughter’s college program followed a similar path. She had been a student at the University of Colorado in Boulder when we discovered that she had become addicted to crystal meth. After attending a wilderness program in Utah, she went to a women’s treatment program in Costa Mesa, CA which borders Newport Beach.
Her first semester back at Orange Coast College, she took two classes and worked part time, as a way to start slowly and gain her confidence as a student. She, like many newly recovered college students, had a low grade point average on her transcript and was nervous about starting college again.
She finished the two year program at Orange Coast and went on to graduate from Cal State Fullerton, a nearby state college, always holding down a part time job to help pay expenses.
She has accepted what she missed out on when she gave up her college experience at Colorado, but as we all know, your life changes when you succumb to drug addiction.
Her recovery has been one day at a time for the past 7 years. She has found a career that she loves, so all was not lost. I do believe she is a much more centered, and mature person because of this experience.
As one Rutger’s student said, “It must suck to be our parents.” Most of us who have experienced having an addicted child agree that it isn’t easy. Finding the right program for your college student may make all the difference.
If you find yourself in a situation where your college student becomes addicted, remain calm and don’t panic. There will definitely be challenges for every family member, but there is hope and your child can get their life back just like mine did.
What do you think about recovery support for college students? Do you know about any other colleges that provide this type of service. Let us know in comments.
take care,
