TreatmentTalk – Moments of Clarity

“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.” - John Wayne

I read John Wayne’s quote and thought, it doesn’t happen this way, but after reading Moments of Clarity, Voices from the Front lines of Addiction and Recovery, by Christopher Kennedy Lawford, maybe it does. Maybe some people, wake up one day and say, ” enough,” and end their alcohol or drug use. I know of several people who put a date on the calendar for their last day to smoke cigarettes, and in fact it was, and they quit. Your will and determination, seems to be the key to success, among other things.

Moments of Clarity is a collection of stories, essays, and anecdotes. There are some very well known Hollywood names who wrote some of the stories, such as Alec Baldwin, Richard Dreyfuss, Tom Arnold, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Martin Sheen to name a few, as well as average people, whose stories are just as interesting. I was also pleasantly surprised to come upon an essay written by Velvet Mangan, the founder of Safe Harbor. After meeting her, when my daughter attended Safe Harbor, it was amazing to read her story. She is definitely a survivor. The storywriters come from many different walks of life, with different issues, but are well written and held my attention. As you read, you realize the depth of despair so many people feel as they try and fight their addiction. Following are several quotes from the book, and again so much wisdom from people who have gone through their moment of clarity, and come out the other side, as well as a little humor.

“That’s one of the of great gifts of recovery for me, the knowledge that if I feel confused, undecided, lost, unsure — if I use my meditation, my ability to be still and to quiet the mind, the answers will come.” Earl Hightower

“I’m not looking for that giant rush anymore. I had it. I had the dramatic moments, those TV moments, and they were all short-term things. Now I want sustainability. I want something that lasts. That’s what God is. That’s what life is. It’s not heroin. It’s not whoosh. Whoosh doesn’t last.” Greg Behrendt

“I am not a deep spiritual being, but I know that there is some acceptance of God in my life, without a religion attached to it, without a face or a look. I couldn’t do this before, and now I can, and I don’t know why. To me, it’s the process of elimination. It’s like, ‘Well what changed?’ and I believe my answer was God.” Jamie Lee Curtis

“My boyfriend and I were complete drug and alcohol partners. I was just crazy about him. He would run off for days and I’d go screaming though Hollywood in my car, trying to find him. I had this red El Dorado 1969 convertible, and I’d drive around with the top down, half out of my mind.” Katey Sagal

“I think of the path I’ve traveled and I think of the people that have traveled it with me, and it’s kind of like that Verizon commercial where you turn around and all those people are there behind you. Everyday, I remember every person that has come into my life, has held out that hand to get me where I am today.” Velvet Mangan

What I realized immediately, after reading this book, is that not one of the writers attributed his parents to his or her sobriety. It finally sunk in for me. Parents, no matter what we say or do, ultimately do not make the determining factor on whether our children chose sobriety and/or decide to change their lives. In fact after attending enough Al-Anon meetings, I realize parents can be a hindrance. We know that there are certain windows of time during a person’s addiction, when our actions can either contribute to the downward cycle, or nudge someone toward their moment of clarity. This is the ongoing dilemma for every parent in this situation.