It was May of 2010 when I started Treatment Talk.

I was looking for something interesting to do, a new endeavor, a new project.

I had a cause, and I wanted to write, and yet I did not know where this journey would take me.

As I’ve said on previous occasions, blogging has been exciting and rewarding. The people I’ve met have been incredible.

I feel as if I’ve only just begun…

When you find recovery, you are learning to let go of your bad habits. The question that often follows is, what’s next?

Besides face to face support, books and magazines, we have opportunities to find inspiring content online. The most inspiring write from the heart.

I want to introduce you to nineteen fellow bloggers, some of the very best. They support a healthy lifestyle, and encourage you to bloom and shine just like a new spring garden.

Recovery is the first step, but there is a next step, and that is to live your very best life, the one you were meant to live.

When you read these blogs, they are not necessarily about recovery. They are about living life.

These writers inspire you with their intuitive wisdom for successful and fearless living. They teach you how to collect smiles, get inspired, be happy, and change your life. You learn about the Law of Attraction, how to use simple steps for living today better than yesterday, and how to heal completely with positivity, love and happiness.

They teach you to make it happen for a better you and a better world. They write about how to stop worrying, how to let go to get closer and how to shake up your inner creativity. You learn to take small steps toward living your vision.

Come back to the place where receiving information intuitively was natural and open up to your full potential! ~ Angela Artemis, Powered by Intuition

Don’t allow fear to hold you back from the life that you deserve. Don’t allow fear to rob you of your happiness, passion, and purpose. ~ Tess Marshall, The Bold Life

When we look back on life, we want to be able to say that although it may have taken us awhile to get started, when all was said and done, we took advantage of all the possibilities we should have. We lived up to our potential. ~ Sibyl Chavis, The Possibility of Today

Commit with love and an open mind and you will discover how much of the “impossible” is actually possible. ~ Aileen Mahoney, Kaisen Vision and Evotive Marketing

Being happy and positive is not all that difficult …. We are already happy positive beings, we just need to understand how to focus on the positive instead of the negative everyday. ~ Zeenat Merchant-Syal, Positive Provocations

Sometimes the simple path to leaving our baggage on the ocean floor begins when we grow tired of the sneak attacks, the conflict it creates and the happiness it steals. ~ Alex Blackwell, The BridgeMaker

Happiness is an inside job. You must love yourself enough to choose it, to align with it, and even to share it. ~ Nea Joy Justice, Self Improvement Saga

“The Law of Attraction isn’t just about material stuff. It explains Who You Really Are, why you’re here and can help you find the happiness and joy you’ve always deserved.” ~ Melody Fletcher, Deliberate Receiving Blog

Shout from the gallows about how good you are and how good you are going to become.  ~ Arvind Devalia, Make It Happen

Reality becomes almost unimportant against the power we have to shape our experience of life as we perceive it. ~ Betsy Henry, The Zen Mama’s Blog

When forgiving becomes a part of who you are, you’ll feel like a huge weight has been taken off of your shoulders. ~ Fran Sorin, Awake Create

Can you see the blessing this moment offers you? Even though you don’t know the big picture, can you enjoy what life is dishing you right now? ~ Andrea DeBell, Brite Talk

What impact on myself, my significant others do I want to make in the next 10 years? ~ David Stevens, Personal Power 4 Me’s Blog

I believe that all of the answers that we will ever need to know have always been within us – in our soul.  ~ Jodi Chapman, Soul Speak

Your time here on earth is short.  Don’t carry burdens.  Have fun.  Do what makes your heart sing. ~ Paige Burkes, Simple Mindfulness

Sometimes life throws us a curve ball or we face unexpected changes.  Sometimes if we live in fear and fear the unknown, we miss out on the opportunities that lie undiscovered. ~ Victor Schueller

In order to change our life we must first change ourselves, change the ideas from which we think, the ideas that keep us firmly anchored in our present life. ~ Elle Sommer, Reflecting a Life

There are many blessings in disguise that aren’t always apparent to us, and many of these blessings are afforded to us simply for being alive! ~ Joe Wilner, Shake Off the Grind

The shrine of the ashram was at the top of the hill and once we got to the top, we had a breathtaking view of the city. My favorite city. My spiritual hometown. ~ Vidya Sury, Going A-Musing

What inspires you to stay in recovery and reach your full potential?

If you enjoyed this post please share it on twitter, FB & Google+. Thank you.

P.S.  “Exercise is often the going that moves us from stagnation to inspiration, from problem to solution, from self-pity to self-respect.” ~ Julia Cameron

Quote from 101 Natural Highs for an Amazing Drug-Free Life  

This is an interview with Kim Box of Parent Pathway.

Parent Pathway has recently released their documentary, Collision Course.

It was announced that Collision Course has been nominated for an Emmy Award!

The final selection will be on June 9th in San Francisco at the Northern California Emmys. If you haven’t already seen it, be sure to watch Collision Course and share it with your family.

1. Please introduce yourself for readers that don’t know you.

I am the Co-founder and President of Parent Pathway, LLC.  I am passionate about awareness and prevention of teen substance abuse and addiction.  I am also passionate about helping parents who have a child or any loved one who is struggling with substance abuse.  It affects so many young people who begin with recreational ‘partying’ with their friends and end up with the disease of addiction.  This is one disease that is completely preventable; young people and their parents need to know the consequence of substance abuse.

2. Tell us about Parent Pathway and why did you start the website?

Parent Pathway has been created for parents by parents to find a place to get answers, a sense of community, and hope for their loved ones and themselves.  We realized the need for this service by seeing what was happening in our communities and families and we also realized that it was difficult to get information to help parents in their time of need.  When you realize that your child has gone past the point of experimental substance use and into a serious problem with drugs and alcohol it is difficult to know what to do.  It is not a situation that many parents feel compelled to share with their friends and family, it can be very lonely and filled with fear.  My partners and I decided that we would create a website to help parents navigate through this difficult situation with their loved one.  Our goal is that they find the website and instantly realize that they are not alone and others are here to help.

3. What is Meetings in a Box? Who would benefit from these meetings?

Meetings in a Box are a guide to have a meeting with a group of parents or to do as an individual to help support them through their journey of a loved one struggling with addiction.  Each Meeting in a Box is a topic with a description, relevant quotes, music, books and then an exercise to explore the topic and learn how to work through it.  An example of some of the topics are; Denial, Hope, Fear, Boundaries, Gratitude, Trust, and many more.  These are topics are typical for overcoming co-dependent and enabling behaviors as well as taking care of ourselves.  Meetings in a Box is a very innovative service to help parents cope and move forward in their journey.

4. What are some of the common drugs that seem to be abused in the Sacramento area? 

I believe the Sacramento area is very similar to many other areas.  We have seen an extreme surge in prescription drug abuse.  Pain killers like Oxycontin, Vicodin, Norco and many others are very expensive on the street which leads those addicted to these opiate based drugs to use heroin because it is much less expensive and the same high.  Alcohol continues to be a huge issue.  We are seeing young people binge drinking in middle school, high school and college leading to death in some cases.  Even with awareness around drinking and driving, there are still high numbers of young people abusing alcohol and suffering the consequences which can ultimately lead to alcoholism.

5. You also speak to parent groups in your area. What is your message for parents and how can they help prevent their children from becoming addicted to drugs?

Our message is simply that abusing drugs and alcohol at a young age can have immediate and long term consequences.  The adolescent brain continues to develop until the age of 25.  By using substances, you are altering the chemistry of the brain and have a very high probability of developing the disease of addiction of which there is no cure.  Ninety percent of all adults who have the disease of addiction began abusing substances before the age of 18.  After the age of 18 the probability of the disease of addiction is one in 25.  Parents need to understand this and help their child stay safe and away from abusing substances.  We encourage parents to get educated on how substance abuse affects their child and encourage them to talk early and often to their children so they can make good choices.  We encourage parents to keep prescription drugs locked up to prevent easy access.

6. Where do you go from here? What are your dreams for the future?

Our goal is to get as much visibility to Parent Pathway so that parents can get the help and support they need.  It is such a difficult situation to discover your child has a serious problem with drugs and alcohol.  We want parents to easily find our site and know there are others that have traveled this path and will be there to support them.  My ultimate dream is that there is enough awareness and education to parents and young teens that we turn this growing epidemic of addiction around and see it rapidly decline.  And that would result in not having a need for Parent Pathway.  But until then, we will be there help parents navigate through their journey.

Are you a parent who is concerned about your teen? What can we do to prevent teen substance abuse? If you have any questions or if there is something I can help you with, please feel free to contact me through the contact form. I would love to hear from you.

take care,

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Have you had one of those situations where you were blindsided by a sudden turn of events?

Your situation hopefully had a happy ending.

You may realize that it was a close call and you feel gratitude.

Last Sunday, I texted my daughter who has just moved to a new apartment in the city. She didn’t reply and I texted her again on Sunday and then again on Monday. I was beginning to get concerned.

She called back asking if I had seen her email. I found it and she explained that she had been at a friend’s apartment. Someone in the living room happened to look out the window and noticed flames coming from the apartment below.

She and her friends all left quickly, pounding on all the doors of the building. One friend helped the elderly women who lived in the building get out safely.

What they thought was a small kitchen fire that would be extinguished within a few minutes turned into much more.

Within 15 minutes the entire building was engulfed in a 4 alarm fire. Flames were shooting out of every window. The building was demolished.

Thankfully the residents were not hurt, although unfortunately a couple of the fireman suffered some injuries.

My daughter’s friend lost everything that was contained in the apartment. My daughter only lost her purse with all the basic essentials of life, keys, wallet, and drivers’s license.

What is most important is that they are safe and unharmed.

When these types of close calls happen, I have a hard time not going to that place of the “what-if.”

Again I’ve been reminded how precious life really is.  How important it is to remember that while a life can take decades in the making, it can be extinguished in a moment.

The cause of the fire is still under investigation.

What I’ve realized is the things I worry about most, rarely happen. On a handful of occasions during my life, I’ve been jolted by a turn of events that I never expected. Gratitude is what I think about at the end of those days.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” ~ Marcel Proust

Living a life of gratitude will make you feel happier. You can even feel grateful for those moments of crisis in your life. Gratitude turns bad things into good. It reminds you of what is important and it encourages you to say thank you to other people.

Here are some ways to feel gratitude today:

• Every experience is a gift. Even if you feel confused or troubled, know that every event in your life can offer a gift. Look at the every situation with eyes of gratitude. It may be really an opportunity to grow and be creative. You are now stronger for what you have been through.
• Our greatest weaknesses can often prove to be our greatest strengths. They provide us with opportunity for growth that we would never have had otherwise. Everything about you can be used for good. When we feel unsure, it is a signal that there is something that we can learn.
• Growth can occur during times of crisis. Although we wish that life would go along peacefully, there are often bumps in the road. The Chinese word for crisis is written with two brush strokes. The first represents danger, and the second represents opportunity.
• When you are feeling fear, take a moment and notice the growth in your life. Instead of letting fear stop you in your tracks, look back and be grateful for how much progress you have made. Know the joy of gratitude. Feel the strength of your growth.
• Notice the miracles that have touched your life. They may have always been there, but now you can take notice. Become aware of the many gifts of your life by practicing gratitude. Be thankful for the little things as well as the big ones.
• Be grateful for the people in your life. Enjoy and spread the love . Acknowledge those close to you, and tell them often how much you appreciate and love them. We can learn something from every person we meet.
• Express your gratitude when others do something for you. That simple act can make a difference in your life as well as that person’s life. Take a moment out of your day to say thank you. It costs little and will spread happiness.

I am once again reminded about how grateful I am for my life and the people in it. I am waking up to another beautiful day. The sun is shining and all is well with my world.

Here is a beautiful poem of thankfulness to leave you with:

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are 
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

~ Author Unknown

How about you? What are you grateful for? Has your family had any close calls, that pushed gratitude to the forefront of your thoughts? Please share in comments.

Take care and have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

I am delighted to interview Steven Aitchison, author and founder of Change Your Thoughts blog. Steven and Angela Artemis have created a new guided meditation program called The Re-Awakening, a program designed to help someone rid themselves of stress, anxiety and depression .

1. Steve, please introduce yourself to the Treatment Talk readers who may not know you.

I am an extremely happily married soul with 2 great sons and a mental dog named Kara.  My heart and home is in Scotland, UK.

I am the author of Change Your Thoughts blog, which has now been running since August 2006, and it’s went through a lot of changes over the years, but it keeps me writing and hopefully brings a lot of readers some pleasure with articles from myself and many great guest bloggers.

I have also written 5 books and produced 11 Products on personal development, with the latest product being The Re-Awakening: A Guided Meditation program narrated by myself and Angela Artemis.

I work full time as an Addiction Counsellor, mainly helping people recover from alcohol issues.  When I’m not doing that I love writing and marketing the business.

2. Please tell us about your amazing blog. When did you start it and why?

Oh, the blog started in August 2006 and I started it as a way to give my creative brain an outlet for ideas on helping others.  I had just finished my degree in Psychology and was writing short stories but felt I had something to give as a personal development writer.

The blog started off quite badly as I didn’t have a clue what to write about, so i started talking about trivial stuff, like how to reduce farting (I know, who wants to know about that ).  However after writing some rubbish for a month I started to get into it and my creative muse was turned on as I started sharing with others what has worked for me in my life as I was a prolific readers of personal development books.

There have been times when I kind of abandoned the blog in search of making money online, as my internet marketing skills were being born, however I kept coming back to it.

In 2010 I decided I was going to focus solely on the blog.  At that time I had 3,000 subscribers.  As soon as I focussed all my attention on the blog I started getting more and more subscribers, and funny enough I was making more money from it through advertising.

Today the blog has 32,000 subscribers and I feel we have a great community over there.

3. How long have you been meditating? How has meditation changed your life?

I have been meditating for around 10 years, but it wasn’t constant. There was always the question of was it working, am I doing it right, am I sitting in the right position, does my legs need to be behind my ears for it to really be effective you know all that kind of stuff.

However I discovered when I didn’t meditate there was something in me that was missing.  I missed it and felt out of balance when I didn’t do it.

When I found a few guided meditations a few years after I started, that’s when it really became a habit for me, and if it wasn’t for the guided meditations I would still be doing it on and off.

 4. Can you please tell us about The Reawakening Guided Meditation System?

The Re-Awakening has been an idea that has been swirling about inside my head for a few years.  Ever since I discovered guided mediation I always felt I could maybe produce better ones and more focussed.

So a few months ago I decided it was time to get this idea out of my head and into the real world.

The Re-Awakening is a set of 10 guided meditations designed specifically to Re-Awaken our heart, mind and spirit.  I know it sounds a bit airy fairy, but I truly feel that we have lost our way in the world a bit.  The news is like a constant stream of blackness which is infecting our core spirit, so much so that people are afraid to go out the door sometimes.  What we sometimes forget is that the news is totally skewed in it’s reporting. 

I heard somewhere that for every 19 bad news stories that were reported there was 1 piece of good news reported, when in real life there is hundreds of good news stories to every 1 bad news story.  That kind of  skewed reporting is truly bad for our spirit.  So, The Re-Awakening was produced as a way to counteract, if only a little, the bleak view we might have of the world.

 5. Can you specify how meditation and your program would be beneficial to people in recovery or family members of an addicted person?

Over the years of helping others addictions I feel that there is something missing from the lives of people who have become addicted to alcohol or drugs.  It’s only recently that I have kind of figured out what it is: A sense of purpose.

We’re living in a world with fewer jobs, higher divorce rates, more stress, and a less socially connected world.  Rather than help someone with their addiction I think we should be helping people with addiction issues finding a sense of purpose in their lives.  Without a sense of purpose then alcohol and drugs seems like a way of escaping.

Finding your purpose means finding a place within yourself that has the answers.  However, to find this place you need stillness, calm and focus and I feel that meditation can give us all of these.  This goes for the person in recovery and for the families of the persons in recovery.

6. What advice do you have for someone who is new to meditation?

Meditation can seem to much of a hassle in the beginning, but the trick is to make it a habit.  When you have a good habit in your life you reap the rewards and the benefits become cumulative, meaning the more you do it the more you benefit.  However, as I have found, if you do it for a bit, stop, then start again you are not getting the full benefit from it.

With The Re-Awakening you are bypassing the hassle factor of meditating as you are shown straight away images in your mind that are conducive to deep relaxation and having a deep connection to heart, mind and spirit. Almost immediately you start to feel the benefits which will motivate you more to continue and build on those benefits such as: feeling less stressed, less anxious, able to cope with life much better, more productive, and generally much more in control of your own life.

7. What about people that say they do not have time to meditate? What suggestions would you give them?

If you can’t take 10-20 minutes out of your day to do something for yourself then there is something wrong.

The thing is with mediation you actually gain more time in your life.  You might be thinking ‘If I have to take 20 minutes to mediate each day, surely I would have less time in the day?’ What mediation does is it gives your brain a boost, a 10 minute mediation can have the same effects as having a 2 hour sleep which means your mind is much more alert, much less tired and is able to be more productive, more creative, and make much better use of your time, therefore you are actually gaining more hours in the day by mediating for 10-20 minutes per day.

8.  What do you like to do in your spare time?

The little spare time I have is spent with family.  Friday night is movie night in our house, we get a takeway and sit and watch a good movie together.

Saturday and Sunday is the same, I like to spend time with my wife; go for a meal, go shopping, go to the pictures anything as long as we’re together.

The boys are at an age where it’s not really cool to be with us but we still spend time together going to rugby, playing COD or at the moment helping them prepare with their exams at high school.

All the rest of time I am working as an addiction counsellor, writing, producing products and dealing with the business side of my life.  I manage to survive on 5 hours of sleep per night and I put that down to mediation and good time management

Do you think meditation is for you? Are you ready to find some calm in your life? Let us know in comments.

For more from Steven Aitchison, please visit his blog at Change Your Thoughts. You can check out The Re-Awakening BY CLICKING HERE. 

take care,

We are well into spring, the season for new life, growth and change.

Worms begin to emerge from the earth, ladybugs land on screen doors, green buds appear, birds chirp, and flowers begin to bloom. A new world is upon us and anything is possible.

When you clean out our closets, and let go of what is no longer needed, consider letting go of those habits that no longer support you in a positive way.

Spring is a great time to brush away those cobwebs and begin again.

What’s Happening in the World of Recovery

Alcohol Awareness Month – April was Alcohol Awareness Month ~ We can all help prevent our children from abusing alcohol.

What you can do:  Talk with your children regularly about the dangers of underage drinking, including drinking and driving.

The Partnership at Drugfree.org, in collaboration with a diverse group of committed partners, will undertake a first-of-its-kind week-long public awareness campaign, “Wake Up to Medicine Abuse” from September 23 to 30, 2012, to curb the abuse of medicine, one of the biggest drug problems in the United States today.

In an effort to help curb the abuse of medicine, one of the biggest drug problems in the United States today, we are all encouraging parents and the public to take action.

What you can do: 

• Talk with your kids about the dangers of abusing prescription and over-the-counter medicines
•  Safeguard and properly dispose of unused medications

Drug and alcohol abuse is preventable, and with help, addiction is a treatable disease.

World No Tobacco Day!

Did you know that May 31st is World No Tobacco Day!

“It brings awareness of the health issues and dependency issues related to tobacco use. World No Tobacco Day stresses the importance of making people all over the world aware of the health dangers of using tobacco. It also stresses the addictive nature of tobacco use.

World No Tobacco Day is supported by medical organizations around the world. Many groups and organizations use this day to encourage individuals to quit smoking. They promote education of the issues and dangers of using all forms of tobacco.”

What you can do: Be healthy ~ quit smoking!

Flourish and Bloom This Spring:

 The Silver Lining, by Vidya Sury

Where’s Your Aimpoint?…somewhere in the middle?…why not aim higher?, David Stephens

 How to Forgive Those that Have Hurt You, Melody Fletcher,

The Real Truth about Why You Suck: You Don’t, Arvind Devalia,

Have the Courage to do the Impossible, Andrea DeBell,

A Little Inspiration

“A sponsee asked me recently “how do we really live life on life’s terms, when it appears at best to be an extraordinarily difficult proposition?”

“Yes indeed” I replied, “Difficult yes…but not impossible.”

I went on to say that in recovery I have learned that we must approach each moment of each day with the spirit of hope no matter what. Yes there is suffering in life, there is pain and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. And yes we will lose some of the battles as we struggle for our dreams.

But what we do not see and what most of us never suspect of existing, is the silent but irresistible power which comes to the rescue of those who fight on in the face of discouragement and loss. For me that is recovery, and the very essence of “living life on life’s term.”

Learning to understand addiction and its consequences is a life long journey~ not a single step. The decision to stop using is the step of a life time- but it is the life time of deciding not to use that makes the journey successful!”  Kim Manlove

Last Month’s Posts:

• Saying Yes to Change with Alex Blackwell, The BridgeMaker
• A Valuable Guide to Understanding Alcohol
• 5 Life-Changing Family Recovery Strategies
• Are You Willing to Stick It to What’s Holding You Back?
• How to Recover: 17 Quotes of Experience, Strength and Hope
• Connecting to Your Heart Through Nature
• Treatment Talk’s Monthly Message – March 2012
• How You Can Create Strong and Healthy Boundaries

Thanks as always for reading. We are not alone on this journey. Let’s support each other!

Do you have any suggestions regarding recovery? Please share in comments.

Have you felt the fear of addiction? Me too! My friend, Tess Marshall has put together a not to be missed course, Take Your Fear and Shove It. Check it out. It may help get your fear under control.

take care and have a peaceful day,

I am honored today to interview Alex Blackwell who has just published his first book,  Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change.

Alex is a gifted writer and founder of the amazing blog, The BridgeMaker.  Alex writes from his heart, sharing his past, even the most painful parts, so that we can be inspired, realize that we are not alone, and know that change is possible.

Can you explain your book title, “Saying Yes to Change?” What convinced you to write the book?

Saying Yes to Change is a reminder that the choice to seek positive change belongs to each of us. Except in unfortunate circumstances, we can chose to stay in a place that is toxic, destructive or unfulfilling; or we can chose to break free, seek change and begin the journey to a more rewarding, happier life.

Simply put, we own the choice to say “Yes” to change and I believe that is incredibly empowering.

I wrote the book to provide a properly-sized window into my life so others can see their lives in the reflection of the window’s glass. Often we feel like we are alone with our thoughts, feelings or fears. But by being open with my path to change, might give someone the encouragement to begin their journey, too.

What overall message do you hope to share with readers of your book?

Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change is for anyone who feels the nudge to change; and it’s for people who are already walking the paths to positive change. If you feel stuck, alone or scared, the book will inspire you to acknowledge what you need to heal or change so you can begin living a happier, more meaningful life – right now.

The book has one primary theme, or message I would like the readers to remember: Creating positive change begins with discovering one powerful truth: You cannot change or heal what you do not acknowledge.

Clearly your upbringing affected you. Can you expand how your mother’s substance abuse altered the course of your life?

Cathy, this is a deep and painful question.

My mother was an alcoholic. Later in her life, she became addicted to pain medications (narcotics). Both of her parents were also alcoholics, so I guess she never had a chance.

My most vivid, and painful, image of mother is of her sitting in a dark room, drinking. She would pull down the window shades to make sure the light didn’t come in. The only light was from the end of her cigarette.

To this day, I get triggered around 4 p.m. when the light begins to fall outside and the room grows darker. I turn on every light in the room so I don’t have to go back to that time and space.

Her abuse has altered my life by making me anxious, but it’s also made me vigilant to break the cycle for my children. I’m proud to say that I have done that.

Do you think everyone who has a troubled childhood has to “hit bottom” before they can change and shed the burden of their past? What advice do you have for others who have suffered from a similar situation?

No, I don’t.

I believe we walk the journey that is planned for each of us. Hitting bottom is not a prerequisite to surrendering the past, only becoming mindful of what the past is costing us is needed. This mindfulness can certainly happen in degrees – there’s no one size fits all.

Tell us about your amazing blog, The BridgeMaker.

The BridgeMaker connects people who are looking to walk by faith, share inspiration and celebrate positive change. The meaning of the blog’s name comes from becoming aware of where we are today and seeing where we want to be tomorrow and then making the deliberate choice to cross the bridge to discover the beautiful life waiting for us there.

What is your dream going forward? How will change continue to affect your life?

My dream is to continue sharing my heart. I don’t know where all of this is going, or how it will turn out, but I do have faith. This is my plan and I’m excited to see what’s next!

What do you like to do in your spare time?

This may sound old-fashioned, but I still enjoy hanging out with my wife, Mary Beth. I love our Saturdays of running errands, chauffeuring Emily to her events and then catching a movie, or dinner, or both.

I’m also an avid runner, Kansas City Royals baseball fan and an enjoyer (but not expert) of fine wine.

I try to spend my spare time savoring every moment – each one happens so fast.

Alex is giving one copy of his book to someone who comments, and shares this post! Please leave a comment and let us know that you shared. Thank you!

Click here to order this inspiring book on Amazon!

Alex Blackwell is the Founder of The BridgeMaker. His first book, Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change is now available on Amazon. Connect with Alex on Facebook.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or joining Treatment Talk to receive my free ebook, Beyond Addiction, Embrace the New Life.  Have a peaceful day!

The winner of Saying Yes to Change was Carolyn H. ! Thank you Alex!

“There’a a phrase, “the elephant in the living room”, which purports to describe what it’s like to live with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abuser. People outside such relationships will sometimes ask, “How could you let such a business go on for so many years? Didn’t you see the elephant in the living room?” And it’s so hard for anyone living in a more normal situation to understand the answer that comes closest to the truth; “I’m sorry, but it was there when I moved in. I didn’t know it was an elephant; I thought it was part of the furniture.” There comes an aha-moment for some folks – the lucky ones – when they suddenly recognize the difference.”  ~ Stephen King

April is alcohol awareness month.

A month to just notice and observe.

Are your drinking habits feeling healthy?

Are you concerned about a family member?

From the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc.,

“Alcohol Awareness Month, held every April, was founded by and has been sponsored by NCADD since 1987 to increase public awareness and understanding aimed at reducing the stigma that too often prevents individuals and families from seeking help.

During Alcohol Awareness Month, NCADD and NCADD’s National Network of Affiliates reach out in communities across the country to bring the American public information about alcohol and alcoholism as a chronic, progressive disease, fatal if untreated, and genetically predisposed.

The disease of alcoholism is a family disease that is treatable, not a moral weakness, from which people can and do recover.

In fact, millions of individuals and family members are living lives in long-term recovery from alcoholism!”

Alcohol not only affects the person who is abusing alcohol. It affects their spouse, children, parents, siblings and friends. Don’t let the stigma hold you or your family back from getting help.

Keeping with the theme of alcohol use, I would like to share my interview with Lisa Frederiksen, author of Crossing the Line, from Use to Abuse to Dependence.  Lisa shares great insights regarding the myths that many of us believe regarding alcohol use.

I hope you enjoyed the interview.

Lisa and I are thrilled to announce our upcoming webinar for parents and family members who are concerned about their loved one’s drug or alcohol abuse.

Learn the science behind addiction, understand the emotional toll it takes on a family, and what steps you can take to help your loved one, as well as yourself.

Sign up now through my contact page and indicate that you are interested in learning more about the webinar.

Has alcohol been an issue in your life? What tips do you have for others that might be experiencing the effects of alcohol abuse? Please share in comments.

take care,

“You are always only one choice away from changing your life.”  By Marcy Blochowiak

Are you looking for peace of mind?

Does serenity feel like an illusion?

When there is a family member who is dependent on drugs or alcohol, you yearn for the pre-addiction life.

The thing is, how do you get your life back?

You may be riddled with guilt about wanting a serene life while your addict’s life is falling apart. You may feel the addicted person must get clean before you can find recovery for yourself.

Living a life of anxiety and stress can harm your health.

You don’t need to wait for anyone to find recovery.

Your recovery cannot only help you, but has the potential to inspire the recovery of the addicted person. You may not be able to cure the addicted person, but you can be the example of how to live.

Here are five things a struggling family can do to find their way through the chaos of addiction.

Get Support  

Seek professionals, other family members, friends or a support group that you trust to help you and your family. This does require that you admit the problem exists. This is a huge step for many.

Addiction often causes pain throughout the family.  The effects of addiction can be long lasting without emotional support.

If you have been minimizing the problem and living in denial, you open the door to change when you seek support. Find someone one is willing to listen openly without judgement and will not give unsolicited advice.

When I started the addiction journey, I sought help from friends who were experienced in addiction, attended Al-Anon Family Group meetings and sought a counselor for myself who was certificated in addiction. These choices made a difference in my life.

A favorite book that I turn to as well for support is “Courage to Change.” It can be found on the Resource Page.

Reach out for help so that your family doesn’t have to handle addiction alone. It can cause undo stress, feelings of isolation, despair and can damage your health. There are many people who can provide resources online as well as in person.

Find those people and get the resources that you need.

Once you feel supported, you can become an example of strength for others.

Detach With Love  

When I first heard about detaching from my daughter’s issues, if felt unnatural to me. I had always felt my role was to help and support my daughter in any way that I could.

I worried what would become of my daughter if I detached from her issues?

I soon realized after listening to others that I was confused about what detachment really meant. I did not have to abandon my daughter and be cold-hearted.

Detachment meant to understand the boundary between myself and my daughter. To let her take responsibility for her life.

When you immerse yourself in your child’s or other family members’ issues, you begin to lose yourself in their problems. You experience every crisis as if it were your own. You suffer as much or often more, than they do.

You can detach, you can listen, and acknowledge their problem, but you can also allow others to handle their own issues themselves. You can offer support, but you don’t need to rush in and fix everything. Letting others solve their own problems, gives them back their strength to manage their own life.

I remember one mother mentioned that when speaking to her child, she would nod her head or simply say “uh-huh,” acknowledging, but not solving her child’s problem, instead of jumping in and giving motherly advice.

It  doesn’t mean you don’t care when you don’t engage in other people’s lives. You are respecting the other person to make the best choices for themselves.

We have only one journey through life, and that is our own.

Let Go

Let Go of Control…  

The more we try to control addiction, the more stress we feel. Families may be consumed with their sense of power, and feel they are the only one who can fix the situation.

Many want to escape the pain of addiction. If they fix the problem, the pain will go away.

When we control we are trying to change another person’s thinking. A way to check is to notice how many times you say the same thing. If you are making similar suggestions repeatedly, you are probably trying to control.

Say it once and then let it go.

Let Go of Judgements… 

You can feel anxious when your loved is not recovering as quickly as you would like. You may feel this is because they have a “bad attitude” or because they are not focused on their recovery. Perhaps they have relapsed.

Judgement stems from anxiety. When family members are in treatment or are working on their recovery, we often wait for them to complete their program and be “fixed.”

Accept that your loved one is just another person trying to deal with their life situation as best they can at that moment in time. When you accept another for who they are, rather than who you want them to be, you begin to get our life back.

Let Go of Expectations…

When we set up expectations for an outcome and they don’t turn out the way we thought, there is nothing left, but to be disappointed.

Like many mothers, I had expectations for my daughter before she was in recovery. I had expected her to get an education, and create a meaningful life for herself.

Of course one thing I didn’t expect was that she would take the path of drug abuse.

Today, she is doing well and has created her life, yet she took a different route than I expected to get there.

When something traumatic happens, it changes your perspective. At some point, I knew I needed to let go of my expectations for her life. Like many things, letting go is an ongoing process.

You can appreciate what is happening at this moment, and not concern yourself with the future when you let go of expectations.

Set Boundaries 

Your boundaries will never be tested more than from a drug or alcohol abuser.  You are concerned for their welfare and know that they are suffering. You accept behaviors that most people wouldn’t tolerate.

You may feel that standing up for yourself will only make the situation worse, or that the addicted person is not responsible for their behavior.

What happens is that addicts feel that they have no limits. Each time you allow them to cross a boundary, they will feel entitled to cross it again.

You may begin to feel that we have nothing that you can call our own. You may feel you’ve given up your home, your mind and your soul.

We drew the line with our daughter when she was in the midst of her addiction, and had no rent money for that month.  We were exhausted with the situation, and knew she needed to be responsible for her own actions. People abusing drugs and alcohol do what works and manipulate others in whatever way they can.

When you decide what you can and cannot live with and express your decisions, you can start the process of getting your life back. Do whatever you feel is necessary to ensure your safety and maintain your self-respect.

Pay Attention to Yourself

While it is stressful to have an addicted person in the family, it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy our own life. We can find a life that will bring us joy.

Discover what you love, feel and believe in. Find what interests you. Try new activities, meet new people, or take up a new hobby. Reconnect with things that you have loved in the past.

You may feel that you have a void in your life when you let go of focusing on the addict. Now it is your turn to pay attention to yourself. Fill that void with things that you love.

Our life is a gift, which is precious and valuable. Take back your life, live life to the fullest and appreciate every moment.

What has helped your family find recovery. Be sure to let us know in comments.

Have you given any thought to meditation to help in your recovery? Meditation has been a useful tool for me. Click here to learn more.

take care,

One of the things I love about blogging is the people that I have met online.

Justin Mazza is one of those amazing people.

To be honest I can’t remember how Justin and I connected.

I probably commented on one of his insightful blog posts.

But what I do remember is his time answering technical questions when I needed it.  He has been a generous source of support.

Justin has co-authored an amazing book about fear, which we all experience if someone in our family abuses drugs or alcohol. Fear can stop our lives and and keep us stuck.

We can spend every waking moment worrying about our family member’s addiction. But we can control our fear. Justin shares some remarkable ways to do just that.

Without further ado, let’s get on with the interview and learn what Justin has to say about fear.

Q. I love your book title, Overcoming Fear: Sticking It to What’s Holding You Back. Why did you decide to write it?

A. When I started my blog I always had the intention of creating my own products. Since Fear is such a common problem for many of us I couldn’t think of a better topic to write about. My friend and Co-Author Lisa Wright approached me this year about creating a product based around the topic of fear. Lisa came up with the title for the eBook and I totally loved it.

We all experience the feeling of fear. Some of us freeze when we feel it and others are not even deterred by it. I had to look into my life and see when fear served me and when it limited me. When I was younger I let fear hold me back way too much and I missed way too many opportunities in life which I now regret.

I had to learn to view fear from a different perspective in order for it not to stop me anymore. When I started my blog there was definitely fear present. I had no idea what I was getting myself into but fear was not a deterrent for me because I really wanted write and share of myself.

Q. What overall message do you hope to share with readers of your book?

A. Great question and one that deserves more of an answer than I could give you. Basically what we feel and what is real are often two different things. We feel fear based on a thought about something that is happening or about something that may happen and often this feeling stops us in our tracks.

The goal of the Overcoming Fear Program was to get people to view fear in a different way. Instead of fear as something to avoid at all costs, fear can become a great motivator and a catalyst for real change in your life. Some people have learned to love the “rush” of fear and they don’t fear – fear at all. That is the ultimate purpose of this program. To not fear your fear.

Q. I like the idea of a “worry time” during the day, and writing your worries down and saving them for that worry time. How does that help someone who has worries or fears?

A. Many of us have a certain pattern or habit of worrying about what may happen in the future. I am not expecting you to stop this habit in one day so instead schedule some time during the day or evening to write out all your fears and worries that you are carrying with you. This works well because you can transfer your mental worries/fears to paper or your computer allowing you to examine them more personally. Journaling is a great way to release your worries and to transform them into something you can act on or at least change your perception about them.

99% of things we fear will not happen and the 1% that does happen is for our own personal growth.

Q. Many of my readers have addiction in some form as part of their present or past life. How can your book help with the fear connected with addiction?

A. Addictions or habitual patterns are created in the subconscious and will stay there until they are removed. I know that good people get hooked on drugs and alcohol and it is a painful situation to deal with. One is often left feeling hopeless and feeling like there is no way out. All addictions are created from a need to eliminate pain in one’s life. The problem occurs when the initial pain is gone but the addictive habit still lingers creating a “new pain.” This happens a lot to people who become addicted to painkillers.

My Dad was a smoker for over 20 years and was able to quit by being hypnotized. A good hypnotist is an expert at altering subconscious patterns. They go directly to the subconscious mind and basically reprogram it much like computer software can be reprogrammed to do what you want it to do.

Chapter 14 in the Overcoming Fear eBook walks you through the deprogramming of your subconscious mind to rid it of negative patterns. I also know of two people whom I have worked with directly that can help you rid your subconscious mind of limiting addictive behaviors.

Q. Tell us about your awesome blog, Mazzastick.com. Why did you start it?

A. Thanks for your kind words Cathy. Starting my blog has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life. I began my personal development journey back in 1997 after ordering Tony Robbins Personal Power 2 Program. Literally a month after completing the program I bought my first home at the age of 23. My personal power (the ability to act) had exploded around this time and it made me hungry to learn as much as I could in the areas of personal achievement and psychology.

From 1997 until now I had read well over 700 books in the areas of personal development, business, health and nutrition and metaphysical studies. I had all this knowledge and personal experience to share and I needed an outlet. Hence, the blog Mazzastick was created for just that. Also being business minded I wanted to make this into a profitable venture for myself and anyone else who wanted to join me.

I formed an LLC for my blog in March of 2011 because I wanted to really experience what it’s  like to be a business owner as well as a writer. I have so much I want to share with my readers and so far the experience has been awesome.

My blog traffic, newsletter subscribers and income has gone up every month since I started. I don’t blog for the money but it is a great feeling to earn income doing what I love to. Isn’t that everyone’s dream?

Q. What projects are you working on now?

A. As far as my blog goes I intend to grow and expand it even more by writing amazing content, guest posting and creating more products and services this year. Thank God for Google because the majority of my traffic comes from them. I do offer personal one on one coaching via Skype or telephone but I haven’t really gone into it “full throttle.” yet. I will begin taking on more clients after the initial release of the Overcoming Fear program is complete.

Q. What do you do when you’re not writing ebooks or blogging?

A. I spend lots of time with my family, especially on the weekends. We like to go on day trips and visit all the fun places that families like to go to. I seldom go online on the weekends anymore except to check my email. I dedicate my free time to my family, helping my friends, reading lots of books and working on my farm-house that still needs work done to it.

I am not much of an idle person so I really like to keep myself busy. I plan to take some classes and learn more about business, marketing and creative writing this year.

Click here to find out more about Justin’s book, Overcoming Fear:  Sticking It to What’s Holding You Back! 

Does fear hold you back? How have you conquered your fear? Let’s us know in comments.

take care,

Here are some amazing quotes so let’s begin.

“I’m happy to report that my thirsty boots are empty now, unless my feet are in them. Even better, my husband buys me a new pair of Frye boots for every year that I stay sober. I have four pair and counting. (I’m starting to think my husband likes me better when I don’t slur my words, fall down a lot, and undress in front of our friends).”  ~ Heather Kopp of Sober Boots 

“My recovery from addiction to my addict began much earlier than my son’s recovery from addiction to drugs. My hope for everyone is that no matter what chaos is in your lives at the moment, you are able to control what goes on within you and have some peace. I read somewhere that there will always be sadness, but misery is a choice.”  ~ Denise Krochta, author of Sweat 

“It just takes one to stop the dance, to change the steps and start a new dance. But if both change and learn the new steps and practice those steps, together, a new dance is created. Sometimes one or both will go back to the old one – that’s normal – it’s what is most comfortable; it’s what they’ve practiced for years. But a new dance is possible. It may be together; it may be solo, but it is possible. It takes learning the new steps, and it takes a lot of practice.” ~ Lisa Frederiksen of Breaking the Cycles - Changing the Conversation

“The truth most families eventually discover is that no one can cure another person’s addiction. Only addicts can do that for themselves.” ~ Beverly Conyers, author of Addict In The Family: Stories of Loss, Hope, and Recovery

“When I first got sober I thought that life was over and that I was going to be restricted to the rooms of A.A. forever. I was convinced that sobriety was a prison and I was to serve a life sentence. I was wrong about that and I was wrong about A.A. Recovery has been absolutely and completely expansive, every day bigger, better, and brighter. I have been granted a life beyond my wildest expectations.”  ~ Kristina Wandzilak, author of The Lost Years

“Finally, I realized as long as I held on to all of that hurt pain and anger I was not going to move forward, even though he was moving forward. When I was sure I wanted to get better I told my son I was proud of him, I believed in him and I wanted the past to be in the past. That’s how I was able to let go. I had to face my fear (my son) man to man.”  ~ Ron Grover of An Addict in Our Son’s Bedroom

“What’s truly amazing is that I enjoy this life today, and when I was still using, I hated the idea of sobriety. I could not picture myself having fun or being content with this life that I am now living. But somehow I transformed and it did happen.”  ~ Patrick Meninga of Spiritual River

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” ~ Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

“I was once a hopeless addict whose life has been interrupted by a Higher Power.  My life was transformed by surrendering to the principles of The 12-Steps, which has led to a life that is devoted to the practice of meditation and service to others.”  ~ Tom Catton, author of The Mindful Addict

“Detachment is based on the premises that each person is responsible for himself, that we can’t solve problems that aren’t ours to solve, and that worrying doesn’t help.” ~ Melody Beattie, Codependent No More

“..if you want something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done.”  ~ Tim Weber, author of Gutters & Roses

“Many people who enter into recovery (i.e., abstinence from their drug of abuse/dependence & engaged in treatment) will relapse at one point or another.  Though this seems like bad news, the flip side is that relapse can be a manageable part of recovery – some have even said that it has helped them solidify what they need to do in order for it to never happen again.”  ~ Michael Pantalon, PhD, author of Instant Influence

“As crazy as this may sound, I would say to almost anyone: Consider that relapse might happen, and then plan what to do if or when it does. After a relapse, the person should call a friend who is also in recovery and get right back to doing what is needed to avoid it in the future. Learn from it.” ~ Joe Herzanek, author of Why Don’t They Just Quit?

“As the years past, my addiction became all-consuming and that love affair turned into the only thing I cared about.  I can recall countless times looking intently at the person staring back at me each time I walked by a mirror. During the height of my addiction, I couldn’t stand my reflection as it reminded of me how I lost myself to drugs.  But as I began my recovery, slowly overtime I started to appreciate my presence. I shifted my thought process so that I would no longer be running away from the person that I wanted to become.”  ~ Super Star of We Are One

“After three years of sobriety, my son’s growth is evident. He laughs more easily, he watches more calmly and he protects himself better. He knows where he hurts and he pays attention to what is coming. He’s more reflective, thoughtful, less impulsive and more honest. He has good friends. Part of my son died with the addiction, but the son I know is still here. Suffice it to say that he is becoming a strong and caring man. He is finding his way back to himself. ” ~ Libby Cataldi, author of Stay Close: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction

“Why does it help to read others’ stories? It’s not only that misery loves company, because (I learned) misery is too self-absorbed to want much company. Others’ experiences did help with my emotional struggle; reading, I felt a little less crazy. And, like the stories I heard at Al-Anon meetings, others’ writing served as guides in uncharted waters. Thomas Lynch showed me that it is possible to love a child who is lost, possibly forever. ”  ~ David Sheff, author of Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction

“Working with people who are in the throws of their disease keeps me in touch with how far I’ve gone and how much I don’t want to go back. I now know much more about the risks and about what I’d be doing to myself were I to take them. I don’t want to kill additional neurons, and I sure as hell don’t want to go through 2 more years of hell trying to put my life in order. I’ve never tried speed again since the day I quit in 2002 because I can’t say that I’m sure of what would happen next, and I don’t want to find out in case it’s bad…

This is why I believe that education is one of our best weapons in the battle against addiction.”   ~ Dr. Adi Jaffe of All About Addiction

How did you find recovery? Please share your wisdom in comments.

take care,