TreatmentTalk – Father’s Day

Today is Father’s Day and it always brings memories of our dads, and childhood. For some these may not be so pleasant, but for me, I was one of the lucky ones. I was blessed and am very grateful to have had a wonderful father, who was kind, understanding, supportive and worked hard to provide for his family. He lived to the ripe old age of 93 and died very peacefully in his bed. His life was not always easy, having endured the depression and the WW II, he was aware of what going without, meant. He saved his money, some could even say he was frugal, but his good decisions allowed him to enjoy a comfortable life for himself and his family. He stressed education, hard work, and honesty among other qualities which he tried to pass along to his children.

My first experience with alcoholism was my dad’s first wife. He had been married and divorced before meeting my mother. I have three older brothers, two from my dad’s first marriage. They lived with us from the time they were about 10 and 12. On occasion, my dad’s ex-wife, Judy would call the house when my parents were away, and I would talk to her, taking the message that she had called, etc. From her slurred speech, I could tell she had been drinking, but there was really minimal contact between us. I know my older brother’s memories were much more vivid. I’m sure there were some happy moments with their mother, but I know there were also some very difficult ones.

There was so little support in the fifties. I know AA and Al Anon existed, but it would be even more shameful than toay, to admit you or someone in your family had a drinking problem.

An article in the Sunday Times’ USA Weekend magazine caught my eye this morning. It was an article about an organization in Newark called Newark’s Father’s Now, written by Wendy Sachs. It’s a program that is part of Newark Now, an initiative started by Mayor Cory Booker in his efforts to combat crime. “The mission of Father’s Now, which began in 1999, is to help former offenders and at-risk men become engaged fathers and productive citizens.” The program is six hours a day, five days a week for eight weeks. There are 200 graduates, 73% have jobs, are in school or are getting training. The cost per student is $3000.

Checking the New Jersey Department of Corrections website, it shows the annual institutional cost per inmate is approximately $38,900. This program is about half of the cost of housing an inmate. According to the USA Weekend article, only 3% of the dads return to prison.

This is a concept that all states could be looking at. Fathers have such a huge influence on children’s lives. When looking at addiction today, although we are told, that fatherless households do not cause addiction, statistics I believe, would show us that of our young alcohol and drug offenders today, as well as many of our criminals had either no father, or a disfunctional father in the home.

This is one more good idea that hopefully will continue to be successful, and more importantly be a model for other states.

Happy Fathers Day!!