I like to introduce you to Barbara Theodosiou, founder of The Addict’s Mom, a group focusing on the mothers of addicted children.
Barbara Theodosiou of The Addict's Mom
Please introduce yourself to the reader.
I am the founder of The Women’s Business Mastermind Group and the Addict’s Mom as well as the mother of four children, two that struggle with addiction. One has been clean for several years and the other is still deep into his addiction. “I was physically sick and lost in the sadness of their addictions. I was a woman with great personal and professional success, from the outside it would appear as if I had it all, but on the inside I was broken, no, shattered into a million pieces.”
Through my work with various women’s organizations I’ve been featured in the front cover of the Miami Herald, the Sun Sentinel, Chanel 5 News, Positive Thinking Magazine, Happy Herald, Comcast Newsmakers, South Florida Parenting Magazine, and have also been interviewed on all the major TV and radio stations in the region. Former Mainframe Computer Training Manager of Loews Corporation, with a Master’s Degree in Family Therapy from Nova Southeastern University.
Tell us about your website The Addict’s Mom and what inspired you to start it?
Through my brokenness an idea was born, The Addict’s Mom. “Deep inside I knew I was not the only mom suffering. I knew there had to be other mothers who were going through the same emotional pain that I was and I wanted to create a place for mothers of addicts to come and have the freedom to share our pain without feeling the shame that often comes with having a child that is an addict. As the mother of two addicts, it has taken me four years to realize that I matter- that my life has purpose. I didn’t have to die inside because my sons were addicts. I am learning that I am important to myself and the other people in my life, my husband and my kids.”
The Addict’s Mom is a dynamic group of women who share a powerful connection: they are all mothers of addicted children. The group’s mission is to empower the addict’s mother so she becomes emotionally and physically healthy. Addict’s moms face challenges that few really understand, they suffer both emotionally and physically because they are often obsessed with their addicted children. Their health gradually declines and the pain of having an addicted child never goes away. Their relationships with other family members suffer as they try to keep the family unit together. The Addict’s Mom is a rapidly growing community of thousands. Together these women support one another, learn from each other and grow from the wisdom of leading experts on addiction from around the world. You are invited to join The Addict’s Mom for free on Facebook at www.addictsmomgroup.com and on the website at www.theaddictsmom.com.
I noticed that you are collecting stories from other moms? What is the purpose of this?
Being the mother of an addicted child is a painful journey that covers a wide range of emotions. I am collecting stories for a book that will contain true stories/poems of extraordinary moms who share their personal stories of the difficulties and challenges they face every day. I believe in the power of sharing just one word, one line can change the perspective of an addicted child’s mother helping her to understand she is not alone.
At this stage, what are the top 3 things you’ve learned about addiction and/or codependency that have helped you in your own recovery?
Referring back to the 3 “C’s” “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it and I can’t cure it” The Addict’s Mom members have added a fourth “C”- I don’t have to contribute to it!
What advice do you have for parents of drug addicts/alcoholics who are just coming to terms with the diagnosis or suspicion of their son or daughter’s substance abuse?
Mary Tiffany, a member of the Addict’s Mom, said it best – YOU are going to need support in this, and this disease will not let you be the kind of parent you wanted to be. You are going to want guidance on how to parent a child who is an addict. EVERY parent who has a child with any illness needs some kind of direction on how to deal with it…whether that illness is allergies, ADD, ADHD, cancer, cystic fibrosis or anything, getting guidance from people who can help you understand when you are “supporting” and when you are “enabling.” This is NOT an easy journey!
What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
In my free time my I enjoy spending time with my husband and children as well as reading, exercise and catching up with friends.
Be Well.
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Please be part of the discussion and leave a comment. I would appreciate it.
Beyond Addiction:
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I’m not a mom but had to comment to support your cause. Thanks for taking the initiative to do a great service for these mothers.
Bryce Christiansen recently posted..Captain America’s Guide to Leadership
Hi Bryce,
You don’t have to be a mom to understand the pain this disease can cause families. Barbara has a wonderful organization that really supports mom in this situation. Thanks for your comment.
Hi Cathy,
Thank you for calling in to my blog, much appreciated. I’m obviously not a Mum however echo Bryce’s sentiments. Congrats on your work to date & for the future.
be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted..7 Key Lessons that I learned from my Dog, Sam
Hi David,
It’s wonderful all the support online to help families in need with this disease. Thanks for your comment.
i like interview posts
thanks for it Cathy, it was very useful
Hi Farouk,
Interview posts I believe are good for everyone. The reader learns about the person is a direct way and the guest post is easier to do, as it requires just answering several questions. I’ve been using interviews quite a bit lately and it seems to be working well. Thanks for your comment.
Thankfully, the world of online support continues to grow. This interview will help erase the shame and stigma of addiction in the family, allowing mothers to reclaim their health and sanity. Thanks for the great post!
There are many resources online, which is great. Barbara’s program is very supportive for mothers. I think the blogs and websites filled with information is moving us closer to awareness and letting go of the stigma of addiction. Thanks for your comment,
Hi, it’s Saturday night and I am having a very bad night. My 19 year old son is out and on the loose. He is an oxy addict, among other things. He’s been stealing to support his habit and tonight I found out, because he left his Facebook open, that he stole his dad’s toolbox out of our garage and was going to trade it in to an old man for an oxy prescription. My son has been addicted for at least 2 years. He went to detox for 7 days in July, and I found out that the day he got out of detox, he was doing oxys again. I also found out tonight, from Facebook, that he’s been doing more oxys each day since detox. Last Friday night, I had to take him to the ER because he was detoxing again, this time at home, and he was having a very rough time. I am scared. He is attending meetings, comes home from them all excited to tell me what he’s learned, but he is still at it. He is borrowing money from everyone and owes cash stores in our area about $1,000, and his seasonal job will be done in a few weeks. Presently, we are trying to get him into a 5 week residential treatment centre, he does want to go to this. He knows he needs help. But he continues to lie to my husband and myself, telling me tonight he was fine and clean, when I know he isn’t. I am supposed to go pick him up from his friends house in a little over an hour. He lied to me and isn’t with this friend, I cannot locate him and am scared. I am tired and this is taking it’s toll on me. My husband works out of town 8 days a week and is home for 4 days. I haven’t told him tonight what’s going on, he can’t do anything about it anyway because he is 4 hours away and even so, I don’t want to scare him with this. He has enough on his mind with working and trying to earn money to keep our family afloat. I just am scared and tired of living like this, always worrying about my son. I can’t wait to get him into that rehab facility, I pray to God it is very soon. Pray for my son and my family please everyone. Thank You.
Hi Kim, I know this is a very difficult situation. If he is willing to go to rehab, the better for all of you. You might seek help through an addiction counselor or therapist specializing in addiction to help you. Also an Al-Anon meeting might be helpful to you. We will keep you in our thoughts, and wish you the best.
Thank you for your reply Cathy. I know that I do need to get myself to support meetings held in my area, it’s tough though because I’m driving my son to his meetings at night as well, but I know I should take the time to do this for myself. I will read Barbara’s blogs, that will be very helpful as well. I will keep you posted regarding my son’s progress (hopefully it WILL BE progress
and what happens as far as his rehab placement goes. Thanks again, knowing somebody out there is listening helped already.
Hi Kim,
You can find a lot of virtual hope, strength and support at http://www.mothersseekingserenity.com, which is authored by three moms who have children in active addiction or recovery. It is so comforting to know that you are not alone and that others have felt the shame, fear, anger and sadness of having a child in active addiction. I hope that you find information and support there that will help you and your son find recovery.
Hi Susan,
It is wonderful to have support especially for moms when their kids have addiction issues. Thanks for your comment.
My 27 yr old son is a meth addict as well as liking any narcotic he can get. He admitted to his addiction a month ago after long mother-son talks about his behavior and choices that have hurt him terribly. He went into treatment for 9 days. We found out he left when we went to family group and we were pulled out to hear he left with another addict he befreinded. I sobbed. After days of worrying where he was, he connected and is now with a roommate who has taken him in. Since all this, he has disconnected from everyone who loves him. He will not call me, and hardly answers any text. But when I have been around him, he is glued to his phone. The pain of this is undescribable. I am greiving every day. Sometimes I do not know why I still exist. I am no where near detachment, because I am his mother and I cannot detach from that. The sadness penetrates every part of my being. Thank you for this blog…this is my first on-line support spot. I attend Naranon when I can.
Hi Cathy,
My heart goes out to you and your situation. Unfortunately this is the disease of addiction and how it plays out sometimes. As a mother or any family member it is emotionally exhausting. Please remember that you are not alone. That is great that you are going to Naranon and Alanon, especially a Parent’s Group can also be a helpful support group. Detaching does not mean that you let go of your concern for him, but it does mean you set boundaries for yourself. Taking care of yourself allows to better deal with the situation.
A professional such as an addiction counselor, or therapist can be very helpful. It is recommended that you seek outside help, as family members are often too emotionally close to the situation. Another resource is Partnership for a DrugFree.org. There website has lots of resources and help and can be found on Treatment Talk’s Resource page along with other helpful books and links.
Please contact me and give me an update. Thanks for your comment and my best to you and your family.
I’m so grateful to have found a place to connect and learn. My 28-yr old son is currently in his first week of a 28-day recovery program following a ten-day detox program. We learned about his oxy addiction the night prior to finding a detox center and getting him in. Feels like a hellish tornado from out of nowhere although, of course, there were signs — I simply didn’t recognize exactly what they meant. It helps immensely to hear from others’ experiences … I have much to learn. Sending a virtual hug with much gratitude to everyone here.
Hi Susan,
Welcome, I’m so glad you are here! Please be sure to check the resource and archive pages, for there is a lot of information for parents. I felt the same way when I found out my child was addicted to crystal meth. It was sudden and then as a parent you feel the weight of making sure you make the right choices. Although this problem is your child’s, offering them the best help available is vital. That is wonderful that your son is in recovery. Be sure to remember that you are not alone, there are many parents out there in a similar situation. There is always hope for your son. I wish him the best with his recovery. Please contact me if you have any questions or if you need further resources. Hugs back to you as well. Hang in there. Every day gets a little better.