TreatmentTalk – 4th of July

Written by M.

When I think of the 4th of July, I immediately picture BBQ grills, fireworks and the American flag. It’s a fun day meant to be spent with family and friends and meant to celebrate our country’s independence. This holiday also makes me think about personal independence, or lack thereof.

When suffering from an addiction, whether you realize it or not, you have completely lost your independence. For an alcoholic or addict, in the beginning days of drinking and drug use, you actually feel completely in control. You are the one making the choices about how much to use or take, how much money to spend on your drug, and what you will do in order to get it. After a little bit of time (whether a few weeks, or a few days) that sense of control will be gone and you will become completely enslaved to your addiction. Alcoholism and addiction take charge of your life and you end up just along for the ride. On a daily basis it is true that you make your own choices, whether in the midst of an addiction or not. You decide whether or not to spend your last $20 on food or booze. You decide whether you are going to make it to that important family gathering on-time, or at all. These choices may be easy for most people, but for the addict and alcoholic, every decision is controlled by the need for the next high.

I can say from experience that being dependent on drugs and alcohol is lonely, sad and shameful way to live. There is a part of you that does want to be sober, a good family member, successful and happy. And often times you do know what you need to do, you may just not be willing yet. It is not easy to overcome an addiction but to live without independence, is no way to live.